{heidiology}

why...

2012-01-19T14:39:00.000-08:00

...do i want to watch this over and over and over?

maybe because i just heard a commercial for an upcoming nickelback concert and felt queasy...maybe because it's a great song...maybe because they're old guys. old guys who rock. old guys who still know how to stick it to the man.

they just don't make bands like this anymore.

now who sounds old? ha. whatever. it rocks.

mistletoe music...

2011-12-05T12:03:00.000-08:00

now you all know how much i like holiday music...i wouldn't make a cd each year for my family and friends if i didn't...but i am NOT a fan of 1) how early it starts playing on the radio & in stores every year, 2) the repetetive, annoying songs they tend to play (think elton john's step into christmas...omg if i hear that song one more time...) and 3) that these 24/7 christmas music extravaganza stations don't understand how nice it can be to hear a few non-holiday songs in between the christmas cheer.

so...if you need an antidote to the cheesy christmas madness...why not grab someone special, make some hot toddies, find some mistletoe...and give this playlist a try...these are my favorite snuggle up and...stuff....songs.

who says the holidays can't be just a little bit sexy? ;)

heidi's jingle bell jam 2011

2011-12-02T12:50:00.000-08:00

last year's edition

it's that time of year again...well actually i started working on this year's jingle bell jam around halloween, lol, it's quite a process. funny...this is my 12th year making it and each year i think there couldn't possibly any more holiday songs that are cool enough to warrant a whole cd - and yet, here we are. ;)

i do this as an alternative to holiday cards for family and friends, and it's a pretty big hit, and an inexpensive way to spread some rockin' holiday cheer with a lot of people at once. i love this project!!

also...have y'all started your DECEMBER DAILIES??? i have! my book ended up small this year, i'll try to post some photos soon...doing 4x6 & keeping it uber-simple. doing some traveling around this year and my emphasis is on getting it done, not necessarily embellishing it to death. yesterday's photo had to do with the enormous, exceedingly ridiculous amount of starbucks cups that i found in various places...my office, my desk, the kitchen...yeah. i don't have a problem...or anything. denial? what's that?

not likely to do too many homemade/handmade gifts this year, unfortunately my schedule is a bit holiday hectic this year vs years past...but i'm going to embrace it all and just enjoy what i can. it will all get done. *breathe*

hope you all are having a fantastic start to your holiday season...don't stress! keep calm and merry on my friends...

thankful

2011-11-23T10:34:00.000-08:00

family friends home love kirk health art music dance coffee sunshine art supplies cupcakes career weekends vacations ocean mountains nature christmas tulips scented candles games technology freedom independence mobility humor dogs children rock-n-roll beach books stories movies kisses hugs laughter days off love-songs relationships paycheck insurance rain sushi pretty papers jeans converse lattes naps parks palm trees generosity kindness genuineness youtube peppermint tea jane austen journals pens paint markers picasso kandinsky matisse education master's degree foster families who care colleagues voice creativity passion flannel pj's soft pillows snuggling with a handsome husband facebook twitter email cards photos memories travel integrity hard working people sincerity...

abundance.

color me grateful.

hope you all have a warm and mellow thanksgiving, and thanks for sticking with me here at heidiology for all these months...

om...

2011-11-17T12:52:00.000-08:00

...so. have been feeling stress lately...creeping in, seeping through the cracks i've let develop in my calm shell over the last few months for a variety of reasons. cried myself to sleep last night and couldn't figure out what was bothering me, other than buildup of random worries and fatigue, maybe. whenever this happens, i turn to a few things...

music. dancing. this is not likely a surprise to my regular readers. music gives me so much joy! but lately i've only been enjoying it while sitting in my office working on reports or solving crises...or in the car driving from place to place...which is fine, but i need to blast some favorite tunes when i can get up and dance! this is #1 on my to-do list for the weekend. ;)

yoga. it's been awhile since i've savasana'd my way to peace. thinking it's time to dust off the ol' mat and have some om time. i've never felt as good, or been as healthy, as when i was practicing yoga regularly. i miss it.

writing. journal has also been neglected in lieu of long work hours & working weekends. time to dive back in and get some of these emotions out.

art. this weekend i cleared off my studio table and now have my art space back. i plan to use it...and soon.

i'll post back on my progress as i re-introduce some of these happy habits to my routine...if you feel like leaving a comment or msg'ing me with some of your favorite anti-stress practices, i'm all ears!

crisp autumn days...

2011-11-09T16:16:00.000-08:00

who doesn't love fall? this was where i spent my lunchbreak today...

...almost didn't make it back to the office. look at those leaves! we don't get a lot of the traditional colors here in SoCal, but this patch of bright mustard yellow was just calling out for me to go & make it into a big pile & jump in. fortunately i squashed that impulse in favor of taking a quick snapshot. much better on the work clothes.

isn't it beautiful? bring on the hot cider, pumpkin spice candles, fresh cool air, tomato soup & grilled cheese, and big fat novels for cuddling on the couch with. i'm ready.

spooky...

2011-10-31T12:38:00.000-07:00

haven't decided what to dress up as tonight, but whatever it is, these shoes need to be involved:

love them.

and love a little creepy music for the occasion...enjoy & happy haunting, y'all!

an all time favorite song...

2011-10-29T18:43:00.000-07:00

i realize i'm dating myself a bit with this one but...hells yeah!

i've decided to spend my saturday night listening to this song on repeat. because hells yeah!

beauty

2011-10-27T12:13:00.000-07:00

in the eye of this beholder....beauty is:

this song, this video, this inky drippy calligraphy goodness...

beauty is also...

snuggling in bed 'til noon with my husband on the first rainy day of the season

the kindness of a friend who spontaneously brought a little treat to my office at just the right moment yesterday

remembering and appreciating all that my parents did for me growing up (working in foster care reminds me to thank them often!)

this song. one of my favorites to sing along to in the car, or the shower, or anywhere...patty griffin's voice is just amazing...

getting ready to start annual holiday projects that i love

the pretty vanilla gingerbread scented candle i have burning in my office

crisp, sunny autumn days like today

this clip:

because colin firth is the hotness, even when he's on a funny show.

the smiles on the kids' faces when they are picking out their halloween costumes from our donors...so cute

hope you find something beautiful to contemplate today.

good life...

2011-10-17T16:36:00.000-07:00

most of you have read on this blog that i work as a foster care social worker/supervisor...i don't often share details here, for one because of confidentiality laws, but secondly because i have found that telling foster care stories often leaves people feeling sad, depressed, & anxious.

so, i'm going to protect y'all from the sadness that has been my job for the last week or two, but suffice it to say we've had some really serious incidents/crises over the last week or two that have left me in need of....something positive.

luckily, there are a few things!

1. My Extra-Life team and I successfully made it through 24 hours straight of gametime this past weekend to help raise money for Children's Network Hospitals. Sleep deprived, aching wrists, but all for a good cause. EXTRA LIFE raised over 1.1 million dollars. awesomesauce!

2. i am not usually much for feel-good pop songs, but i have to say...this feel-good pop song makes me feel good:

3. my sweet mother is coming to L.A. for a work conference this weekend, and i'm excited to spend some time with her talking/laughing/relaxing it up in a hotel by the beach. sometimes a girl just needs her mom... ;)

if you're so inclined, leave a comment & tell me something positive that's going on in your life...we social workers tend to get drowned in the tough stuff, i'd love to be reminded that life can be good!! :)

wishing you all a great week.

holidays...

2011-10-17T10:30:00.000-07:00

...it's still averaging close to 100 degrees in my little corner of the world, so to be honest, while i know the holidays are around the corner & i'd better get started on some of my bigger holiday projects, i can't bring myself to think about it while the A/C is going non-stop & we're all still trying to stay cool!

however, a few of my projects take quite some time to complete, so yes, crazy as it sounds, i will be starting to compile music choices for my annual "jingle bell jam" project (CD) as well as materials for my "december daily" project. here's my album from last year:

i'm thinking this year of doing lots of clear pages - transparencies, trading card protectors, maybe even slide protectors or 6x6 clear page protectors? i LOVED using spray paint on transparencies last year, so may have to pull out the spray paint again soon.

i am planning to make my own covers again, too, out of recycled something-or-other from around the house, and covering them with some fabric scraps from last year.

also have plans for some other holiday creative goodness, so stay tuned! (...holiday ART JOURNAL anybody?) i know it's been all RIFT all summer up in here, and while i still enjoy the game & play constantly, i am back to the art table & ready to start on some of my favorite projects of the year. some of you have recently e-mailed me with questions and comments, and i really appreciate you sticking around at my little home on the web.

hope you are all healthy & happy...

Extra Life

2011-10-08T14:50:00.000-07:00

one week from today, on 10/15/11, my fellow gamers and i are going to spend 24 hours straight playing RIFT marathon-style in order to raise money for Children's Miracle Network hospitals.

Extra Life is an annual charity event run by the Sarcastic Gamer team, partnered with the Children’s Miracle Network, which handles all collecting and distribution of donations received. gamers have the option to play solo or form teams for group donations, and can direct their contributions to a children’s hospital of their choice. the event itself is a designated day where participants are asked to play a game or games of their choice for 24 hours straight.

i've been asking for my friends/family/colleagues to sponsor me for just $1 per hour, for a donation of $24 total...and my team and i are hoping to raise at least $1000 between us for children's hospitals...if you'd be interested in helping us reach our goal, you can click the link below to go to my donation page and get more information. all donations are secure and tax deductible!

CLICK HERE TO SUPPORT ME!

i'm not sure how i'll stay up for 24 hours to do this, i love my sleep! but, it's for a great cause, and i figure if kids can battle life-threatening medical conditions, i can manage to lose a little sleep for their sake. :)

if you happen to be a video-game player and want to join us, you can find the link to our team information on my donation page as well!

thanks to those of you who've already donated, i am deeply grateful.

wish us luck!

i'm on a horse, and it's on fire...

2011-09-19T16:57:00.000-07:00

...in case anyone was wondering what turned me into a gamer chic...it's RIFT's sense of humor...as in:

and this:

in other news...looking at starting DEC DAILY SOON!!! that's right, it'll be back to the art table soon, so thanks for hanging in there with me through this summer of video game action. lol.

say something nice

2011-08-31T13:18:00.000-07:00

i. love. THIS.

wouldn't it be lovely to have one of these in every city? *sigh*

i feel some john lennon coming on...

have a good one, y'all.

16

2011-08-11T18:01:00.000-07:00

16 years ago today i married this boy:

best. decision. ever.

aww, we were so young...we had matching long hair, matching guitars, matching souls.

(10/1991 - we started dating in april '91)

(5/1994 - i went to europe for a month with kirk's family after graduation)

and since then we've had our fair share of ups and downs & yadda yadda...we've been through so much together...our hair is a bit greyer but even longer...and our souls still fit together.

i can honestly say that i am about as happy as a girl can be with this guy by my side.

i love you kirk dilley! happy anniversary, baby!

(8/11/1995 - the big day)

(7/2011)

planes, trains, and....games?

2011-08-11T15:19:00.000-07:00

hello...hello...hello...is there anybody out there?

to be honest i almost forgot i had a blog. you see, i suffer from toomanyprofilestomanageitis. i've addressed this before. but the problem is confounded by a dual diagnosis of ilovetosetupprofilesism. it's true. "ooo! new cool site! set up a profile? sure!" and then, one by one, they fall off into the void, never to be thought of again until i get an e-mail or something reminding me i have an account.

which sites, you say? let's just say i am not exactly "hard to find" online. i've got accounts at all of 'em. except linked in. can't really get my head around the idea of a "facebook for professionals." who wants that? snore.

anyway, what's been keeping me from my blog all summer? let's see. planes, trains...

a trip to OR last month. let me tell you how gorgeous the oregon coast is! wait i don't have to tell you, i can show you:

wish we were still there, but yes, life goes on. and work. work has kept me from my art, my fun, my blog, and just about everything else for quite some time. busy busy busy, but you don't want to hear about that. if you want to know more about what i do, click HERE.

and when i'm not working...i'm normally enjoying my most recent addiction. wait for it....wait for it....

...keep waiting for it....

ok ok. RIFT. it's an MMORPG. (don't worry i just found out what that is, too.) i've introduced you to this before. but now, it's worse. i know the lingo, i know how to set up a macro, i know what button to press when, and the most unlikely bit is this: i am in a guild. that's right. and how about this? i am an officer in this guild. which doesn't mean i'm in charge of anything as much as it means i'm on the computer every darn evening killing digital monsters (and other players) with my digital character.

can't believe i'm actually playing this game. really kirk just thought i'd have fun trying it out, so he gave me a pass to the "beta." (i had to learn what that was, too...it's a pre-release "trial" that allows people to play for free and then give the creators feedback to make the release go smoothly, etc.) turns out i didn't just have fun, i had a blast. and considering my daily work as a foster care social work supervisor, it was just such a nice balance to the seriousness and stark reality of my daily life, it just fits. and honestly i could spend 3 hours watching "reality" tv, which i hate, or i can spend 3 hours playing a game. and there's art! well, not art, per se, but a very cool character creation tool that allows one to customize a little character pretty closely.

so....yeah. i'm a guild officer who has 2 "toons" leveled up. all the way up. kirk doesn't even have 2 characters all the way "leveled" yet. this could be bad.

but how cute are these characters? and so like me, right? i'm in love with the female dwarves!

there's my cleric, Valkara:

Clerics do this:

I also have a Rogue, Valkyrie:

She does things like this:

And, I have a Mage, Valyana:

She rocks at doing this:

so...yeah. clearly i'm going to need some help at some point. but for now, these little hotties are keeping me sane after long days dealing with child abuse, foster care, and stressful budget cuts. ok, rift and red wine. but it works.

hope you're having a great summer!

sucker.

2011-06-16T13:17:00.000-07:00

that would be me, for getting suckered into re-designing our agency brochure for free. with free cheesy templates with free cheesy photos. for people who have no idea what they want and no money to pay for what they think they DO want. i am a sucker of the worst kind. but let's not dwell thus.

it's bloomsday! ok, so i have never made it all of the way through finnegan's wake, even with a "guide to finnegan's wake" by my side...nor can i claim to understand all of the intricacies of ulysses. but it cannot be denied that james joyce was pure genius. and so, along with all literature nerds across the land, i shall celebrate bloomsday.

preferably with a guinness in hand. but until happy hour, this will have to suffice:

wednesday

2011-05-25T12:00:00.000-07:00

the blandest day of the week. so i'm having peppermint tea to soothe my sore throat and using a new website that a twitter buddy told me about called TeuxDeux. hey if one must work from a to-do list, it should at least be nice to look at and easy to use, right? the geek in me is loving it...

the free-spirit in me would still rather be outside running free & not stuck in this dreary office. lol.

so this is for my inner free spirit child, to balance out the most boring of days.

break on through to the other side...

2011-05-21T17:14:00.000-07:00

so, it is just me, or was that the worst. rapture. EVER? ;)

ok, i never did believe any of that hoo-ha about today being the end of the world, but it did make for some excellent material for my jokes & banter on fb and twitter this week. not to mention hilarious conversations with a few people who take themselves waaaaaay too seriously...but that's beside the point.

the point is...i've got an apocalyptic playlist to share! because you know me, and an event like the end of the world just wouldn't be a party without good music...and some silly music because you've got to have humor in times like these.

enjoy. i'm glad we're all still here. (well, i'm glad most of us are still here...i did secretly make a list of douchebags i was hoping would disappear...but no matter.) the crisis is over. time to sing & dance.

"thou hast turned for me my mourning into dancing; thou hast put off my sackcloth, and girded me with gladness." - psalm 30:11

shall we get this playlist rolling with a suggestion from my dad? he wants this first song to be played at his memorial service one day. (did i mention i have the coolest dad in the world? no? well, now you know.)

so throw off those sackcloths, gird yourselves with gladness, and shake what your mama gave you...looks like we're going to be around for awhile yet...

what do you know?

2011-05-20T12:09:00.000-07:00

when i started my car this morning the radio was blasting "the thong song." remember that one? ish. seriously. i used to work out to that song and it annoyed me then...but to start a gorgeous friday morning with that stuck in my head is pure torture.

luckily a facebook friend empathized with my pain and he sent me this:

*sigh* ahhh...sweet. now this is a friday song. and milla jovovich's voice rules. thank you, kind friend with good taste in music, for helping a sister out (his words.)

oh, and also, there's this:

which isn't anything more than a quick photo i snapped with my phone on my way home from work yesterday. but i love it. and i love that droid app! (retro camera)

so how's that for a random post. whatever. it's friday. randomness rules on fridays...hope yours is a good one. :)

to officers about to rock: i salute you

2011-05-18T10:52:00.000-07:00

for whatever reason, i've been able to talk my way out of a few tickets here and there...and no, not because i'm emphasizing my cleavage or crying like a girl...

don't get me wrong, i hate getting pulled over. my hands start shaking and my stomach hurts...i'm sure my face turns a wonderful sunset crimson color...but i figure it like this. if i'm going to get a ticket anyway, i might as well try to make the officer laugh, right? obviously not recommended in all situations but here's how it went down yesterday:

CHP OFFICER: do you know how fast you were driving back there?
ME: yes sir. about 88-89?
HIM: uh yes. 89. do you know the speed limit?
ME: yes sir, 75.
HIM: correct. so...
ME: unless...you're driving during an AC/DC triple play, right?
HIM: excuse me?

**this is where he smiled. warning: if officer doesn't smile after 1st attempt at humor, just sit back and take your punishment.**

ME: well, isn't it wrong to go any slower than 87mph during any AC/DC song?
HIM: *laughs* well, i'm not familiar with that law...
ME: i think t's more of a moral guideline, actually...*fingers crossed*

**this is where the officer made me sweat with an excruciatingly long pause while he continued writing on his little pad of paper**

HIM: *grinning* alright, alright...you get outta here...and slow down! *waving me on*
ME: REALLY?!?
HIM: go on...and don't tell anyone about this! *laughing*
ME: oh, thank you, sir! rock on! *sign of the horns*
HIM: just go! *shaking head & smiling*

ME: *salute officer* *smile* *pull slowly and safely back onto road while turning the radio back up*

now maybe i got lucky & this fellow happened to be a fan of angus young's shredding guitar solos & had a good sense of humor...but i like to think it was the god of rock smiling on me... ;)

so, in honor of CHP officers with funny bones & good taste in music...i give you this.

for those about to rock, i salute you:

<p>&amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;gt;and</p>

rock on...

one more day...

2011-04-28T11:57:00.000-07:00

my equation for today:

announcement of agency cutting vacation accrual cap
+ my current accruals more than 80 hours above the new cap
+ spring is here and sunshine is highly preferable to flourescent lighting
= staycation, vacation, aslongasi'mnotatworkation!

i'm not much for math, but there's a problem i'm happy to solve!

i haven't had a raise, cost of living or otherwise, in 8 years. in fact, my salary has been cut twice in the last 2 years. my workload and level of responsibility has increased exponentially. i work insanely more than my required 40 hours a week. don't get me wrong, i am ridiculously thankful to have a job at all in this economy and a rewarding one at that...BUT i am not about to just hand back 2+ weeks of vacation that i've been accruing because the agency i work for doesn't want extra financial burden on their books.

hell no! i am taking those hours, baby...whether i can afford to leave town or not, and the cutoff date is June 1, 2011.

so, starting tomorrow and all next week...i am leaving behind the flourescent lights, incessant phone calls, audits, whining & complaining, stacks of paperwork and all talk of child abuse, foster care, or budget cuts and exchanging them for the solitude of a big fat novel, an enormous margarita, some coconut scented sunscreen and a lounge chair by my apartment complex pool, or better yet...i might even break down and buy gas at $4.50 a gallon and find myself a beach.

it's high time i took another one of these...

after all, every trip to the beach deserves a commemorative toes-in-the-sand photo, am i right?

t-minus 5 hours and counting...can't wait.

lunchtime wanderings

2011-04-25T15:34:00.000-07:00

i have taken to the idea of spending my 30 minute lunchbreaks outside...there is a park near my office and i've been enjoying taking my lunch there to sit out on the grass, turn my face toward the sun, listen to the kids playing on the playground, and just relax.

also, capturing some of it via the retrocam app mentioned in my last post. today was particularly lovely & i had to literally talk myself out of playing hookie from work for the rest of the day.

i am just in love with these retro-camera settings...blown out & warm toned...gorgeous!

and yes, it's monday! i am way too cheerful on this most dreaded of days...this whole not staying in the office all day long thing is really working wonders. hope you all have a great week...

convenient memories

2011-04-25T12:54:00.000-07:00

all of the images in this post were taken with the phone on my camera. i never fail to be absolutely amazed at how far technology has come in my lifetime...don't get me wrong, i love my big-girl camera and nothing quite compares to high-res photos taken with care...but in cleaning out some of my phone's memory i came across these photos taken randomly over the last year and it struck me how nice it is to have a convenient way to capture a moment & move on. no fuss. easy peasy. click, save, done. no big camera bag, no lenses, no honkin' camera everyone notices & puts on their fake smiles for. candid, quick, low-res photo fun.

especially when you can download cool apps like RetroCamera for your phone, to make cool images look easy...like the ones below.

i just love it.

and i love remembering things like:

a long weekend in yosemite national park with kirk's extended family. pure outdoor hiking fresh air joy. there is just nowhere quite like it:

the sky on a windy, cloudy spring day at the park:

the palm trees & endless blue sky at the beach:

fried blocks of cheese for dinner in prague, czech republic...and the best cheap beer in the world:

wishing i could go back to prague or budapest right now!

cute little coffee shops in central europe, taking a break from sightseeing to enjoy a london fog or mocha latte:

and more of the sky. i can't seem to stop looking up these days. i'm telling you, the spring weather is just permeating my being lately:

*sigh* convenient memories. can't bring myself to delete these...guess i'll just have to delete some of those ridiculously long text conversations, right?

these photos are also making certain that the travel bug will bite me again soon. i've got a "staycation" planned for next week...might have to turn it into a "gofarawaycation" if at all possible. or even not-so-far-away. :)

a hiatus from creating...

2011-04-22T12:58:00.000-07:00

haven't sat down to create something in days. maybe even weeks. might be due to spring & wanting to be outside more often, might be due to working a few more hours than i'd like to recently, might be due to this new addictive nerdy passtime that my husband & a friend sucked me into this month:

yeah. total RIFT geekdom at our house lately. it's fun & a great evening escape & we enjoy the social element as well...you'd be surprised how many over 30's are playing this game! we may never fully grow up. ;) i'm "rolling" the sexiest little dwarf rogue & she's a total badass.

or maybe it's just that i've lost whatever mojo i had left after that massive travel journal...whatever the reason for this lack of mojo, i'm going with it. breaks are okay...something or someone will inspire me eventually and back to the art supplies i'll go.

also wanted to thank you all for the e-mails & messages...sorry the comment feature doesn't always work on my posts. not sure what's the cause of that, but i am glad to hear you are enjoying the blog...even though i'd likely still write it even if nobody out there ever stopped by! :)

the good news is, it's friday...hope you all have a wonderful weekend.

ahh....

2011-04-18T11:16:00.000-07:00

the signs of spring are everywhere! i just love this time of year before it gets blazing hot - what a beautiful weekend we had here in SoCal...hoping to carry some of the sunny moments into another very busy workweek. In the meantime, some of my random photo wandering adventures....

mmm....madelines w/fresh strawberries & whipped cream? hello!

choices

2011-04-14T11:37:00.000-07:00

"Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." - Abraham Lincoln

this is true, you know. at least, in most circumstances it's true. someone said something to me yesterday that i found interesting. "heidi, you always have the most amazing life, i'm so jealous." later in the day, someone said something similar "are you really always as content and happy as you seem?"

the fact is, my life isn't any more or less amazing than i make it. each of us lives a story. in our stories there are events, people, experiences that affect the next chapter's direction. each chapter may have peaks and valleys. valleys sometimes seem much longer to travel through than the breathtaking peaks.

of course i'm not "always content and happy." spend a day listening to stories of child abuse and see how happy you feel. i'm not going to make a list of the things i struggle with, but suffice it to say that my story has valleys, too. long ones. sometimes they've been deep and hard to navigate. i've fallen and been injured in these valleys. i've made errors of judgment, experienced losses, heartache, headaches, illness, sadness. just like everyone else.

our stories are unique to us & some are more tragic or more adventurous than others, but all of them share some balance of the good and bad in different quantities.

someone else recently described me as a "glass half-fuller." sure. i do prefer to try and find some possibility where there seems to be none. i look for options and solutions when it seems useless. sometimes i find them, sometimes i have to acknowledge the glass is actually empty.

my rambling, inarticulate point in this post is this: i know that i have power over how i feel at any given moment. when i said goodbye to my grandfather for the last time in October, i felt horrific pain. seeing in his eyes that he knew it was our last goodbye literally broke my heart in two. that day nobody saw me trying to find the good in his illness or his impending death. i cried, i sobbed, almost all the way back to california. in that moment i chose to let myself feel pain and sadness...loss is part of the story after all. feeling these things and getting through grief will likely help me in the long run.

when i hear from doctors that i may not ever have children of my own, i'm not always clear-headed enough to find the positive & walk out of the office with a cheerful smile right away. in these situations i choose to let myself wonder about options, and allow myself to experience feelings of inadequacy as a woman, pain of losing the opportunity to bear children, disappointment in how my husband or family might feel about this. but to allow myself to wallow in that place for too long would likely not be helpful in the long run. after a day or two i have to choose to see it from a different angle. there are options. adoption, foster care, being a great auntie, or i can choose to appreciate for what it's worth the childfree lifestyle. it is not the end of the world. the story will continue.

in those moments i DO choose to look at what's going well. i have a solid, rewarding career. my husband and i have established a healthy and happy marriage. i have a wonderful family and good friends. my basic needs are met. i'm healthy, overall. i've been lucky enough to travel around the US and europe. some days are better than others.

i think what i've learned to do is to appreciate at least one thing every day. a nice strong cup of hot coffee or a few minutes in the sun. a kind word or two from a friend or a phone call from family. my favorite dinner or a flower from my husband. playing a game or watching a movie or getting lost in a good book. planning a vacation, laughing at a joke or even something as simple as a new pair of shoes or some new art supplies. nothing out of the ordinary here, really. just life. the little chapters that make up the big novel.

the bottom line is, at any given moment i'm about as happy as i make up my mind to be. just like lincoln so wisely observed.

laughter

2011-04-13T13:12:00.000-07:00

...still the best medicine. working in foster care brings with it some of the most horrific stories...abuse, neglect, abandonment, loss, mental illness...there are moments of joy when children are reunited with parents who've made positive changes or when children are adopted...but overall, the work is emotionally challenging to say the least.

so to remedy the weight of the stories safely locked in my heart for the kids' sake, i look for humor as often as possible. laughing reduces stress, releases endorphins, makes me smile, lightens the mood. grandma was right, it is good medicine.

here's some of the medicine i've been taking lately:

just about anything Will Arnett does. hysterical.

or how about mr. double dream hands. don't get me wrong, this guy has a fantastic attitude & a blinding smile...but i just can't watch this without giggling. because i'm that mature.

louis ck is always a favorite. highly recommended.

as well as this guy. genius. we own every single one of his dvd's & never tire of them:

or how about a little:

happy wednesday. have a laugh.

getting through

2011-04-12T16:16:00.001-07:00

some days a million little things add up to brilliancy. other days, well, are just days.

this song is getting me through today. radiohead always does it for me.

smitten

2011-04-11T15:19:00.001-07:00

i don't know if it's the spring sunshine, the sound of the birds outside, the fact that i had a wonderful weekend or maybe i've just had too much caffeine, but i am just tickled to death with a million little things today...

like what, you ask?

- with this playlist which is making my brain-numbing quality control audit at work a tiny bit pleasurable:

- with the almost unbearably hot cup of strong coffee (or 3) i had this morning

- with a tiny little piece of artwork on my desk at work made by my father. love him!

- with the suntan-oil-scented hand lotion given to me by a sweet friend that is making my hum-drum office smell like the beach

- with modern technology. i can do almost everything on this tiny little smartphone that i used to carry around my laptop for. and paperless files?!? hello! love them.

- with the amazing mid-70's warmth outside and the bright sun in a cloudless sky & little work-breaks to enjoy it

- with THIS necklace.

- playing this with my husband when we need a break from reality.

- and with this bi-partisan good humor:

i guess sometimes it's the little things after all. hope you find a million little things to capture your own heart this week.

hoping to inspire...

2011-04-09T09:05:00.000-07:00

happy saturday! i would like to be at home snuggled under the blankets on this chilly spring morning...but as it is i'm at work. meh. yet it is one of my favorite parts of my role at work to teach incoming/potential foster parents all about what to expect in foster care, how to handle the children's unique needs & challenges, and hopefully inspire them to continue forward to certification with our agency and commit to a child in need.

i used to abhor public speaking...as an introvert and someone who's relatively shy it does seem a bit out of whack that i enjoy it so much when i think about it. for some reason, standing in front of a group of adults who sit there for various reasons learning about foster care...i find that the stories, the information, the years of experience with foster youth just flows & before i know it, these 6 hours are over.

today's group is a good one...with several potentially strong families. that also energizes me. to see people so altruistic & willing to open their home to a child who needs them, makes me feel like all of the mountains of paperwork, the bureaucracy, the office politics, the painful stories, etc, are all worth it in the end. if we can, together, help even one child at a time, we're doing something right.

wishing you all a beautiful weekend! hoping to get back to regularly scheduled creative posts soon...i've got a mini-workshop planned as well as more journals to put in the shop...among other things. stay tuned & thanks for stopping by.

rainy day...

2011-04-08T17:09:00.000-07:00

...please stay.

singalongs

2011-04-07T11:26:00.000-07:00

it's springtime...blooming flowers, green hills, blue skies, fresh air. time to roll down the windows, open the sunroof, drive a little too fast, and sing as loud as possible.

here are some of my favorite singalong songs for days like this.

happy spring.

art journaling 101: everything but the kitchen sink

2011-04-06T10:11:00.000-07:00

Last fall I participated as an instructor in an online multi-faceted art journaling workshop called "21 Secrets" hosted by Dirty Footprints Studio and the fabulous Connie Hozvicka. There were 21 artists who each completed a mini-session for the workshop and participants had several months to work their way through each lesson at their own speed alongside a supportive online community, forums, chats/discussions, and room to post photos of their own art journals on ning. It was a wonderful experience...there were over 300 students, and I enjoyed interacting with like-minded creative people while sharing techniques and art journal goodness. You can see my pre-class interview with Connie here.

There is a NEW "21 Secrets" workshop open NOW, with all-new instructors, ideas, and mini-lessons, so I'd encourage anyone interested in art journaling, whether you've kept a visual journal for years or whether you're a beginner, to go and check it out. There's a wonderful list of teachers this time, many of whom I've had the pleasure of knowing in a supportive and encouraging online art community.

Since the workshop I was part of has now closed, I've decided to share my lesson here on the old blog.

My workshop was about helping beginners to relax about their journals...get messy, and find new ways to use things found around the house in their artwork. Many people I've heard from here on the blog or youtube have e-mailed asking about various materials, what to use, what's the best art supply for this or that...or have indicated they feel intimidated by the plethora of supplies available.

Don't get me wrong, I am a certified art supply addict, and I love trying new materials and have plenty of my own to prove it. :) BUT...worrying about your supplies, choosing the "right" materials, or letting yourself become intimidated by what other artists are doing is going to keep you from starting an art journal. You don't need fancy supplies...you don't even need more than a pen and paper if that's your preference...there are endless possibilities of how to keep your journal, and the only thing you have to remember is this: it's YOUR journal. You can do whatever you want with it!

It's always interesting to me when grown men and women who make huge, important decisions on a daily basis and have productive, confident lives will e-mail me with a timid comment about their own artwork/journal. When we were all in kindergarten, and the teachers gave us crayons and paper, gluesticks and magazines...I'd bet a thousand bucks that 99% of us grabbed at the supplies & went to town as confidently as picasso without a second thought, and nobody could tell us we didn't have a right to make artwork! What happens? As we get older, so many lose that childlike confidence & sense of freedom, maybe when a teacher criticizes us for going "outside of the lines" or when a parent tells us that our drawing of the mountains doesn't look right, or when we start learning about "art" by going to museums and the elite art community makes us feel like art is something that could not possibly be grasped by little old us.

Whatever it is, I really love seeing people let all of that nonsense go & leave it behind. A visual journal can be anything you want it to be, can be shared with others or kept locked away, it can be featured front & center in your home or burned when you're done with it. It's a place to let it all hang out, try things, experiment, who cares if it doesn't turn out the way it looked in your head? You can always cover over it or move on to a new page. Nobody has to know, there are no mistakes in art journaling.

Enough words, let's dig in.

Everything but the Kitchen Sink, Part 1/4: Bleach!

Everything but the Kitchen Sink, Part 2/4: Alcohol!

Everything but the Kitchen Sink, Part 3/4: Shaving Cream!

Everything but the Kitchen Sink, Part 4/4: Other items!

I hope you enjoy, thanks for spending some time at my little blog!

inspired...

2011-04-04T12:00:00.000-07:00

what inspires you? is it watching the sun set in a pink sky? is it a song, a poem, a book, or piece of artwork? is it someone you love, someone you admire, or someone who sends you an unexpected kind word? is it the scent of orange blossoms on a warm spring evening? how about a hot bath with a cup of oolong tea with honey or a fresh slice of papaya? doing yoga outdoors surrounded by nature, cuddling up to watch a foreign film, or hiking to the top of a mountain to take in the view?

for me, inspiration can be found in all of these things and more...as long as i'm open to it. there are days, and believe me, i have them, when i can't seem to find inspiration anywhere. to say my job is stressful is an understatement. to say i'm living paycheck to paycheck is also grossly understating the reality. to say that life is hard would be the truth. and yet.

and yet...is it that i CAN'T find inspiration? or that i WON'T. a wise woman once tossed a set of keys at me & said "try to catch these." of course, reflexively, i caught them. she then said, "there is no try. just do." she was right. but i hear myself, and others, frequently saying "i'll try." "i'll try to get that report done on time." "i'll try to exercise 3 times a week." "i'm going to try to save money." "i'm going to try to read a book a month this year."

there is no try. just do.

obviously there are going to be exceptions to this rule. but in relation to inspiration, is it that we can't find it, or is it that we aren't looking for it?

today, i'm looking for it. and guess what? i found some...

in my "daily bitch" calendar which inspired me to laugh at myself.

in a kind e-mail from an old friend, which inspired me to forgive myself.

in the laughter of some children who are visiting with their birth parents in our office playroom, who inspired me to be cheerful even when things get rough.

when i went outside to get something from my car and felt the sun on my face, which inspired me to stay out there a few minutes longer and soak in some vitamin d.

in an encouraging note from a coworker, which inspired me to do my best today.

in one of those cheesy forwarded e-mails my mom sent me this morning, which inspired me to remember that i am loved.

and when i took my morning break at work and browsed youtube for some inspiration, i found this. this one goes out to all of you. i just love india arie. talk about inspiring...i could listen to her all day.

maybe i will.

2011-03-17T15:44:00.000-07:00

That's right! My brilliant mom #2 has invited us to plan a vacation to the UK in 2012! We have no details yet other than that we want to commit to planning it, but saying it on the blog, well, that HAS to make it official, right?

Oh, the thought of the castles, the cities, the pubs, the landscapes, the music...just makes me happy from the inside out! Oh! And the preparation! There will be books to read, maps to pour over, websites to peruse, suitcases to research, movies to watch and...JOURNALS to create!

To say that I am a little excited by this possibility would be an understatement. Sometimes moms have the BEST ideas.

the post in which i share the long overdue central europe travel journal and have a really long blog post title

2011-02-23T12:34:00.000-08:00

so here it is...the central europe travel journal, with it's jam-packed-ephemera-filled-chunky-monkey-goodstuff. i am also pleased to report that it has expanded in girth since the filming of the video and is now even happier in it's gluttonous existence!

enjoy...and thanks for watching!

December Daily Album 2010: Our December

2011-02-11T15:17:00.000-08:00

finally! the december daily. in all of it's holiday glory.

covers were made w/recycled cardboard covered with fabric on both sides...insides are cardstock w/photos, transparencies (both hand-decorated and store-bought,) patterned paper and embellishments.

i love this project each year...love it.

december daily is an annual project featured on ali edwards' blog, and she rocks it every time.

thanks for stopping by...stay tuned...central europe ROD style travel journal "after" video coming up!

how to get something done on a monday

2011-01-31T10:42:00.000-08:00

step 1. coffee. large, i'm talking bigass cup, of coffee.
step 2. log out of facebook.
step 3. don't even log in to twitter.
step 4. check office e-mail 1 time first thing...then close it.
step 5. get out your favorite pen.
step 6. close office door if you have to in order to close out chatter, gossip, negativity.
step 7. tackle the piles. cross off list when done. if you don't have a list...make one, it feels so good to cross things off!
step 8. check e-mail only just before lunch.
step 9. TAKE A LUNCHBREAK. you might feel more productive if you work through lunch, but remember that 3:00 wall you'll slam into if you don't take a break NOW.
step 10. reward yourself every 30 minutes by standing up, stetching, maybe a simple yoga pose for 5 mintues...
step 11. check e-mail after lunch and CLOSE it again.
step 12. repeat until 5:00. unless an immediate, legitimate crisis is in progress, LEAVE the office. see step 9.

step 13. go home. BE home. tell your head that you are not at work anymore. engage in a hobby, watch a movie, get some exercise, call a friend or family member. make your outside life a priority.

you can do this balance thing.

how to restore a weary soul

2011-01-28T00:13:00.000-08:00

draw one steaming hot bubble bath, scent with honeysuckle. stir in tired & achy body. add one lrg. historical novel, 1 lrg. glass red wine, and a dash of radiohead. allow to simmer until spirit softens. servings: 1.

ahhhhhhhhhh.

2011.

2011-01-19T11:23:00.000-08:00

wow.

2010 flew. it's been ages since i've posted an update. ages. since then, life has continued. my grandfather had a massive heart attack in early october. we traveled to see him in late october. my job responsibilities have continued to expand. i have debated a career change. i got a ticket. i've had lots of wonderful dinners with friends. i've read several good novels, created some artwork, journaled, played w/photos, and even did a little scrapbooking. the holidays came. my grandfather passed away. i am still grieving, along with my family. as my husband said, "it's the end of an era." so true. and now...

...it's a new year. filled with promise. the promise of healing from grief. the promise of better choices, more water, less soda. more creative projects, less wasted internet time. the promise of more art. more travel. more coffee. more of the story.

and i intend to share it, right here. however, i am making no resolutions, no vows, no goals to update in any particular timeframe. i will update when there's something to be said or shown, and i hope that works for any of you who are left reading this lonely little blog. i respect our time...mine, and yours. so if i have something worth sharing, i will...if not, i will just let this peaceful little place exist here in silence until something comes along. silence is underrated after all in our busy lives.

eventually i will share more photos from our europe trip last fall, my december daily album, my travel journal from europe, and any other random projects i've been working on.

until then, just know that i am here...for you, the few, the faithful, the blog-readers of mine. and i thank you for your patience.

i hope your year is off to a fantastic beginning...here's to 2011!

autos planes and carryons

2010-10-08T12:46:00.000-07:00

so i suck at keeping my blog up to date. but for those faithful few who come back to take a peek now & again...the central europe photologue (are you liking my word inventions?) continues...

In this episode we squeeze the bare essentials for 17 days into carry-on suitcases (that's right, we did good with the whole packing light thing! so proud...)

scramble out of our apartment to catch our ride (thanks Mack B) to LAX,

ride 1.5 hours into L.A.,

go through security, wait 3 more hours to board...

and we're off on our 10 hour 1st flight to the UK...

before the journey...

2010-09-25T15:35:00.001-07:00

...because the before is absolutely part of the vacation fun, right?

before we left for central europe, there came:

- reading about Prague, Krakow, and Budapest
- lots and lots of internet browsing about Czech Republic, Poland, and Hungary
- shopping for good walking shoes, a good messenger day bag, travel pants, and the like
- planning, preparing, e-mailing back and forth with MIL about our hotels, hopes, etc
- asking advice from more experienced travelers about what to pack, what to wear, tips for using money, etc
- lots of time spent HERE
- dreaming of castles and cobblestone streets

...and of course, creating my travel journal!

this trip i went with a "remains of the day" style journal with a twist. (ever since i took mary ann's class i am obsessed with the random, the leftover stuff of everyday, and how wonderful it is all collected into one messy, interesting book! go take her class, you won't regret it!)

the twist was that i did not sew in signatures or sew pages together for this journal...i wanted it to be rather simple so i could add lots of bits & pieces while we were in europe (and after.) i also have a bit of a thing for spiral-binding everything (shout out to danielle!), so i was intent on finding a way to have the randomness of the ROD journal style, the softness of a fabric cover, and the spiral binding i so love.

and...much to my inexperienced book-making surprise, i found a way!

the recipe:

take lots of random papers, envelopes, travel themed scrapbook paper, a business card sleeve, and mix them all together in no particular order.
punch pages using the bind-it-all at local scrapbook store. buy a length of o-wire from same store.
struggle with getting the pages just right in the binding, curse and scrunch up face and then say "oh what the hell, it's all good."
then squish the o-wire together with the bind-it-all and move on to the cover.
guesstimate the size of cover by laying out fabric and sketching around journal.
sew other bits onto the main cover, and then deliberate how you will get cover onto the spiral book and simmer for a few days.
decide not to try to sew a removable cover for fear of screwing up the entire project, and glue cover to the chipboard on either end of book, and voila! the spiral-bound travel journal of randomness is born!

i'm guessing that didn't make much sense, so here is a video of the completed book...BEFORE adding journaling & ephemera:

the AFTER video is coming, i promise. along with the "shortlist" slideshow (short being around 400 or so) of photos from our 14 day adventure...i know, i'm such a tease.

here are a couple of photos to get the ball rolling...

the moving map on the airplane screen showing we are nearing prague...we flew 10:10 hours to
London, 2 hour layover, then 2:40 minutes to prague.

a very lucky shot of the vltava river and some of prague's amazing bridges
taken from the plane as we made our descent. the bridge nearest is the
famous charles bridge.

taken in old town square, prague

more to come, stay tuned...

21 Secrets opens TODAY!

2010-09-20T08:36:00.000-07:00

See my post below for more info, and grab your spot in the class by clicking HERE to register today!!

Class officially begins 10/1/2010...but once you register today you will get a link to set up your ning profile if you don't already have one. The ning site for the 21 Secrets workshop will officially open 10/1, when the fun begins!

Don't miss your chance to be a part of this wonderful group of artists who share your love of the art journal...or if you've never kept a visual journal, this is the PERFECT way to get your introduction! All are welcome!

p.s. if you click through my blog, i get a little somethin'-somethin' for my efforts, and i would greatly appreciate your help!

Missed it the first time? Click HERE to register! :) Let's play on the playground together!

21 Secrets...

2010-09-17T17:29:00.000-07:00

...not just one secret...TWENTY ONE secrets! what is this referring to? art journal creative rich playful educational informative messy crafty you-can-do-it goodness, that's what!

Dirty Footprints Studio is hosting a luscious online workshop for anyone and everyone interested in the art journaling process...this amazing workshop includes 21 individual lessons presented by 21 art journalers/artists, and for one low, insanely low price, you get an all-access creative pass to EVERY last stinkin' one of these delicious lessons!

sounds like fun, yes? YES!

i am so totally stoked & honored to be among the 21 artists who were invited to share a lesson, and i am so excited to be a part of this workshop along with some of the journalers who inspired me to begin art journaling in the first place!

what can you expect? 21 unique lessons hosted on ning.com. you will have access to ALL 21 lessons when you register, and the lessons are all online, so you can take them in any order, skip the ones you don't want/need, or do each of them more than once, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, at your own pace, in your own time.

there is a wide variety of lessons, including lesson about how to begin art journaling, how to use various materials in your journal, how to get ideas & let your true self out in your journaling, as well as some lessons on expanding your art beyond your journal! this workshop really packs a punch...well, 21 punches, actually. here is a list of the artists contributing lessons to the workshop:

Andrea Schroeder

http://www.abccreativity.com

Angelia Thompson

http://angeliasartjournals.blogspot.com

Connie Hozvicka

http://www.DirtyFootprints-Studio.com

Dawn Sokol

http://dawndsokol.squarespace.com

Effy Wild

http://wildprecious.com

Emma Peabody

http://treehousejukebox.wordpress.com

/Hanna Andersson

http://www.ihanna.nu/blog

Heidi Newstrand-Dilley

http://www.heididilley.blogspot.com

Jonathan “Blade” Manning

http://www.artisticbiker.com

Kelly Warren

http://happyshackdesigns.blogspot.com

Less Herger

http://comfortableshoesstudio.com

Lis Hofmann

http://dandelionseedsanddreams.blogspot.com

Lisa Wilson

http://lifeunity.blogspot.com

Mariza

http://marizateria.com

Natalie Malik

http://awkwardnbeautiful.blogspot.com

Paula Phillips

http://www.messymindcreativesoul.blogspot.com

Samantha Kira Harding

http://www.journalgirl.com

Sarah Whitmire

http://sarahwhitmire.blogspot.com

Spooky

http://thepaperphantom.wordpress.com

Tami Chacon

http://www.todreamofstars.typepad.com

Tracie Hanson

http://www.mybloominglife.com

the lessons will have a variety of learning tools for you, depending on the artist. some will have written materials, downloadable pdf content, audio & video material, or photos, and some have all of these!

registration for this totally interactive, outstanding workshop begins on Monday, 9/20/2010 and the price for access to all 21 lessons is only $59! the workshop will officially open on 10/1/2010 for you to begin!

more info on monday, when registration will be officially open! if you decide to register, and you'd like to help me out, please register from my blog as i will receive a portion of all registration sales generated from my blog!

if you have any more questions about the workshop, please feel free to e-mail me at hidilley@gmail.com!

bags are packed...

2010-09-02T00:37:00.000-07:00

...seats chosen, boarding passes printed, shuttle from Prague Airport to hotel scheduled...heads full of eastern dreams...we are trying to stay up late tonight to make it easier to sleep on the plane tomorrow...Prague is 9 hours ahead of L.A., so we are in for some jet lag, no doubt about it.

Packed a little box of art supplies so I can work in my handmade journal while we're in the three different countries.

I did take a video of the journal as it begins it's journey eastward...unfortunately ran out of time to edit and upload it...so you'll have to wait for my return to see both the before and after videos!

Will try to post here or on twitter/facebook as we get access to wifi, if at all...so stay tuned!

Don't forget to check out the live webcam in my previous post...you never know when we might be waving to you from the Czech Republic!

See you all in two weeks!

the countdown continues...one week

2010-08-27T00:11:00.000-07:00

one week. 7 days. 6 sleeps.

that's all that remains between us and prague, krakow, and budapest. caught up in packing, breaking in my keen mary janes, reading about the cities we'll be visiting and putting the final touches on my travel journal. i got experimental with this one and attempted spiral bound while still fabric covered...with success! (and only 1 injury, which is not bad knowing me.)

while i work on getting some pictures of said journal to grace this blog, why not enjoy a little Prague-Cam?

Click Here!

this is a view of the medieval astronomical clock...hey, if you watch my tweets i'll try to post when we're there and we can wave to you in realtime! it's an idea...

off to bed to dream of castles, spires, and the vltava river...

city of spas

2010-08-08T23:50:00.000-07:00

...so how can we go wrong? who doesn't love a dip in a hot thermal bath?

our 3rd main destination on our upcoming trip is Budapest. and since we're on a trend, here's rick steves....again...to provide a little more info...

on another travel note, i bought a pair of KEEN shoes yesterday, and my feet have never been so happy! i had not heard of this brand before, but...holy walking shoes, batman! i am going to be one happy walker in eastern europe! these are the ones i decided on after trying on every pair of shoes at REI:
i am sorting through papers trying to decide just what to do for a travel journal...taking loads of cues from the very creative (and also experienced world traveler) mary ann moss.

i will share more as soon as i'm decided...until then, it's back to the monday grind...

the sketchbook project: 2011

2010-08-03T00:11:00.001-07:00

oh yes. i am SO doing this.

waiting on my sketchbook to arrive...my theme is "a day in the life." i'd love it if you joined in, too! check out the details at The Sketchbook Project website.

and in keeping with my assigned sketchbook theme:

ahhh, those beatles. creativity at it's best.

and now, i'm thinking...bubble bath, sherlock holmes mystery, hot tea...then bed.

one month...

2010-08-02T15:12:00.001-07:00

until we get on a plane & head to eastern europe! i already shared a video about Prague, our first destination...after Prague/Czeck Republic, we are going to Krakow, Poland. here's a little video, again via rick steves, to give a peek at this area.

by the way, if anyone has any travel tips (i.e. the most comfortable shoes you've ever worn on a walking trip, packing light, good bags, etc.) i am totally receptive to advice! let me know...

going to be getting a travel journal prepared soon...will be sure to share.

hope you are all surviving monday!

nothing like a day off...

2010-08-01T21:07:00.000-07:00

isn't it amazing how much more you appreciate something when there's less to be had of it? today was my only day off this week, and i chose to take full advantage by...

- sleeping in until almost 11 (boy did that feel good!)
- going for brunch with the hottest guy on the planet (salad, turkey & avocado sandwich & fruit)
- turning up the a/c & the music & diving into my art supplies while kirk went out with a friend

i hate working weekends, even if i get paid extra...i am one girl who absolutely needs her down time. i have learned that when i don't get enough i get very, very grumpy. ;)
anyway, sharing some of my recent journal pages & wishing you a wonderful week ahead!

the golden city of a hundred spires...

2010-07-26T23:50:00.000-07:00

the passport has arrived, the flights booked, and so - the official countdown begins here and now. our eastern european adventure begins 9.2.2010

los angeles to london to prague...then on to krakow and ending in budapest. 2.5 weeks of foreign travel bliss. i'm just a little excited.

so, i'm going to be featuring some videos, book reviews, etc about the places we'll be visiting over the next few weeks, just for fun, as i do my own reading & exploration before we go.

here's good ol' rick steves to tell us a little more about the city of Prague...

looks like a pretty interesting place!

slacker...

2010-07-26T10:32:00.000-07:00

well, blog-slacker anyway. i have been working at my day-job many, many non-slacking hours...keeping me busy and tired enough not to want to blog, or do much of anything else, for the past several weeks.

but nevertheless, i have found little bits of time to play in my art journal, work on a canvas, and figure out an ingenious solution to the "omg it's way too hot in that studio to be in there doing something creative" situation. Here is what I like to call the "a/c diversion program" aka plastic bags duct-taped together attached to the a/c vent in the bedroom and looping into the spare room trick!

pretty cool...works like a CHARM! we went from over 100 degrees to freezing in a little under 30 minutes. hooray! we can now spend time in our studio...i can do painty messy good things and kirk can make beautiful music, in cool a/c comfort. what a relief.

in other news, if you have not been following the Dirty Footprints Studio blog's 30 JOURNALS 30 DAYS interviews, you are truly missing out on learning about some wonderful creative people and how they journal. there is more inspiration over there than you can shake a watercolor crayon at! she was even kind enough to feature little old me on the 21st of july.

so grab a cold glass of iced tea, or a summer martini, and head over to Connie's blog now to check it out! interviews have been posted for each day in july! rockin.

more to come as i'm anxious to share some of our yosemite photos with the world...until then, it's monday, and work duty calls...ugh.

oh, hello there...

2010-07-05T23:39:00.000-07:00

my goodness...old blog...it's been awhile. seems like this happens every now and again, our little internet relationship comes and goes, but is always amiable. this little blog is always here, waiting for me to make a happy little post...

for now, suffice it to say that we are all moved into our new apartment, now affectionately known as "the bat cave." loving it. loving being on the 2nd floor, loving the lower rent, the newer flooring, the clean carpet, the windows on 3 sides, the quieter neighborhood....just plain loving it.

so, where are we? july 4th weekend...ahh yes...the ol' 4 day-er. gotta love a double-weekend, even if i am on-call for work. taking crisis calls at home or by the pool beats being on the phone in that florescent lighting anyday. celebrated the 4th with burgers/picnic food in a parking lot with a very diverse crowd near mt. rubidoux...riverside's main fireworks show area. it was a gorgeous night, clear, cool, dark, perfect for fireworks, and mt. rubidoux didn't even catch fire this year!

the week ahead is also short...one 13 hour day plus one 4 hour day, then 3.5 days of vacation with kirk's side of the family in yosemite. looking forward to getting away, enjoying nature, resting, spending some time with family i don't know very well, and not being on-call. hehe.

creative happenings this summer have been happening...just, slowly. my mojo is hanging around...but i think occasionally it hides in some of the packing boxes leftover from our move. the new studio is all set up, and i have ventured into some bigger canvas projects (yay for bigger spaces to paint on!)...but it is not air-conditioned in there, it's a little too clean, and somehow i am struggling to get my creative juices flowing in there. might have to venture outdoors, maybe in yosemite, ey? hmm...

no photos today...but i will try to perk this blog up a bit very soon. in the meantime, why don't you check out some of these sites with eye-candy up the wazoo?

Samantha Kira
Dirty Footprints Studio
One Year Art Journal Blog
Mary Ann Moss

enjoy, my pretties!

when you live in a fault zone...

2010-04-05T11:21:00.001-07:00

...earthquakes are a part of life.

i am glad the mexicali earthquake happened in a less populated area...and hoping these aftershocks are all that's on the horizon...but i know better...

this is is earthquake country, and we live smack-dab in the middle of it!

i am amazed at how much we felt the mexicali quake all the way up here in the "inland empire" of southern california...our hanging lamps were really swinging and the floor was rolling...at first i just felt like i was going to faint, or had too much to drink because the room was moving. in fact, it seemed a "soft" earthquake compared to our usual jolting tumblers, and since it happened during the day, it didn't freak me out nearly to the extent it would have had it happened in the dead of night. those nighttime quakes really get to me...

anyway...at this point, i have accepted the fact that the earth i have chosen to live on is constantly in flux...just like life in general. and while it's kind of exciting to think that we are the chosen generation destined for the "end of the world," i know better than that, too. there are many large earthquakes every year, consistently since at least 1900, which is when they were able to really start measuring quakes...and obviously, earthquakes have been around since the dawn of time. you can see information about that by clicking HERE.

so, when people ask me if i think the world is ending...i have to answer, no. no i don't. let's not be so ego-centric as to think we are all that important in the whole history of the universe. (although, at the rate we're debilitating our natural resources & ozone layer, we might self-determine a fate such as that for ourselves, but that's another post entirely...lol.)

so the earth will continue to adjust itself, and there is nothing i can do about it but be informed, hope the big ones occur in less populated areas, stay as prepared as i can, and hold on for the ride!

(or move out of state, ha ha, but even the midwest has earthquakes, including CO, dad, ha ha! so none of us are entirely immune...as you can see HERE.)

anyway, happy monday!

it's official...

2010-04-03T01:05:00.000-07:00

kirk and i have decided to move. nothing major, but after 15 years in our current apartment, it FEELS big.

we've talked about moving for a long time...but never had any real reason to do so. our current apartment has met our needs perfectly for the past 15 years, in fact, we moved in here 1 week before our wedding!

our complex has been well kept, friendly, safe, convenient, and relatively inexpensive...until recently. management changed just over a year ago, and i hate to say it but things have been on the downhill slope ever since. the manager is a nice person, i guess, but doesn't seem to take any pride in her job. either way, the property is not looking maintained, the residents are increasingly loud (i.e. nearly coming to blows outside our door over who is louder, "don't make me come down there, bro." "do it, bro, come down here, bro" "i will bro, don't worry, i will" "then do it, man, i'll take you down, bro"...) maintenance requests go for weeks unanswered, rent continues to go up, cars are being tampered with, security gates left unlocked...you get the picture. it's bad enough we live right next door to a 24 hour restaurant & the freeway. lol.

for some reason, we've been comfortable and satisfied here despite the freeway noise & police helicopters flying around every night - because within our little community, it felt just fine. now...not so much.

so...we are moving...a mile down the street, to a very similar apartment with the same owners.

ha ha. don't laugh...ok you can laugh if you like. for 2 people who LOVE change...we sure haven't made lots of residential moves together. but say what you will.

we chose our new residence based on good word-of-mouth (from folks who've moved from here to there,) we know & love the managers there, it is farther from the freeway, it is a 2nd floor unit (great news for the earthquake fearing inner me) and the best part: a fireplace...and it's about $75/month cheaper than where we are now.

how can we go wrong, right? :)

did i mention the first month's rent is free and they are putting in new tile & double-cleaning the carpet for us before we move in? yep. they rock.

we've started packing and have moved a few boxes over that won't interfere with the tiling/carpet cleaning situation...and our final move date is later this month. so excited.

hooray for change. for cleaning out closets of the past, ridding ourselves of things that have been weighing us down, starting fresh, and making a change.

even if it is a wee little one.

5 minutes from right now...

2010-03-27T20:25:00.000-07:00

at 8:30 pm on 3/27/2010, i will turn off the lights in honor of earth hour.

UN

2010-03-22T00:11:00.000-07:00

un is quite the prefix! it is also the current art journal prompt at a year in the life of an art journal blog.

here's my take on the prompt...

remember, you can always join the creative fun, prompts are given 2/month...

a little home for art

2010-03-14T23:04:00.001-07:00

ARTJOURNAL.BOX.1, originally uploaded by heidi_dilley.

this is the box i am using to hold my art journal cards done for the prompts at http://www.oneyearartjournal.blogspot.com

i found a recipe box in the dollar bin at michael's & snatched it up to be sanded, collaged, painted, sprayed, and loved on. i may even add a few more details but i like how it's coming along overall. it makes a wonderful little place to keep my index card art treasures.

come join the fun by clicking HERE. have a great week!

he's on to me...

2010-03-14T13:34:00.000-07:00

...looks like crybaby beck is on to me...don't worry, i'll stay in touch when i'm deported to north korea... : )

some days...

2010-03-12T09:52:00.000-08:00

....this pretty much sums it up for me today. and most days.

u2 always rocks the good stuff.

happy friday!

to all the girls i've loved before...

2010-03-08T16:46:00.000-08:00

...well, i still love them all!

mothers, sisters, friends, coworkers, foster parents, roomates, colleagues, fellow artists, bloggers, social workers, doctors, leaders, politicians, daughters, teachers, firefighters, police officers, therapists, aunties, grandmothers, cousins, extreme sports atheletes, musicians, biophysicists....there is nothing we can't do. well, except pee standing up. although we could probably do that if we wanted to, but, well, yeah. let's not go there.

instead...let's celebrate the women in our lives in honor of international women's day.

here are just a few of my favorite links to empowering sites that celebrate, assist, and give women a voice. have a looksee, and then, grab one of your favorite women and give them a hug, a high-five, a pat on the back, or a thank-you for everything they are to you:

http://www.vday.org/

http://www.feminist.com/

http://www.diygirl.net/

http://www.bitchmagazine.org/

http://www.codepink4peace.org/

http://www.gurl.com/ (for the younger generation)

to those (women) about to rock, i salute you.

inspired by depeche mode

2010-03-07T15:01:00.001-08:00

ArtJournal.Silence.sideA, originally uploaded by heidi_dilley.

the prompt was "silence." i love silence, and find it is something of a rare luxury in the modern world with all of our multi-media portable devices. sometimes i just go sit at the park for lunch and turn off the car, the radio, don't put on my ipod...and just listen to the silence. i find it very healing. thus, my soft, gentle, simple art journal page for this prompt. i'm not usually much for pinks and light colors, but this is just what came out when i sat down.

here's the backside w/journaling:

also love this song and video by depeche mode, which inspired my title:

ArtJournal.UNKNOWN.sideA

2010-03-01T02:06:00.001-08:00

ArtJournal.UNKNOWN.sideA, originally uploaded by heidi_dilley.

this is what happened on the page when i sat down to work out prompt #3 from the One Year Art Journal prompts.

the prompt was "unknown." i realize that this word can be intimidating to a lot of people, including me, but for whatever reason, as i worked on this page, i felt more excitement and possibility than fear about the unknowns in life.

come join the fun and play along...there's a great community of fellow art journalers to support you on your journey, if you're interested...click HERE.

destination prague

2010-02-22T23:50:00.000-08:00

that's right....PRAGUE!

how did this come to be? many of you know that my mother-in-law is a very experienced world traveler. this year, one of her adventures will be taking her to eastern europe. she told us about it at christmas, and how she & a friend were going to tour the area this fall. well, it so happens that my mother-in-law's travel partner has decided not to go after all, and kirk and i have been invited to join marti in prague on september 3.

well, let's see...do i have to even think twice about that? um, no! the answer is yes.

of course, we can't afford it. we can't even afford our daily bread. september is a particularly busy month at work. both of our passports are expired. but we ARE going to prague...we will make it work. i don't care if i have to take a 2nd job to make it happen.

you only live once, after all.

i've mentioned this to a few people and i've had a few kindred spirits share in my excitement.

others have given me a puzzled look before asking...1. "where is prague, anyway?" and 2. "why do you want to go there?"

let me answer these questions...

1. prague is in the czech republic.

2. this is a multi-layered answer.
a. because i am interested in the world outside of the u.s. *gasp* yes, it's true
b. because one just shouldn't say no to invitations to see new places if at all possible
c. because the thought of experiencing a different country/culture/cuisine/language /landscape/history thrills me
d. because they have a varied and interesting history over 1000 years long
e. because they have a gigantic castle, gorgeous architecture, an astronomical clock, and the best beer in the world
f. because in 1989 the czechs engaged in something called the "velvet revolution" and ended communist rule...without bombs, or war, or violent acts (except on the part of the police.)

aka: my kind of people.

i haven't been this excited in months. woot!

now, it's time to pinch even more pennies, get in better walking shape, apply for a new passport, and start planning!

if you've ever been to prague/eastern europe, or are from there, or have any tips about the area, would love to hear from you.

remains of the day journal

2010-02-21T20:37:00.000-08:00

it's done! and here it is...my first "remains of the day journal" a la mary ann moss' class, which, by the way, i highly recommend if you like messy, scrappy, free, experimental fun!i'm so proud of this journal...and so happy i chose this particular project for my first "real" sewing project. mary ann is so encouraging, and SO just like me in the sewing department, i couldn't go wrong. even though i did. go wrong, that is. but what's great about this project is that "everything can be fixed" (to quote mary ann herself.)

i just loved every minute of it. so without further yadda yadda...the video...it's long, so thanks for bearing with me. the girls in the class will want to see every page. i know i did when they put their vids up. thanks for stopping by!

snort!

2010-02-20T01:14:00.000-08:00

well what's not to love about this video?

so....should we be freaking out?

2010-02-19T20:51:00.000-08:00

...'cuz i am. a little. : ) 873 is a bit of a lot. my ptsd from northridge is rearing it's ugly head.

and if you want a little more perspective:
well, i guess alaskans can sympathize...

maybe it's time to stop looking at these websites and do a journal page about ptsd.

the good news is...so far, our audit at work is going pretty well, and i was able to negotiate monday off since i worked the holiday this week! woot! so, i will stay home from work and paint and play and watch movies and sleep with my clothes on, jug of water and first aid kit tucked under my arm.

no. not really under my arm, just....within reach. : ) happy weekend!

let"s give even more love to haiti

2010-02-14T00:01:00.000-08:00

this valentine's day!

happy valentine's presidents lunar chinese new year everything day

2010-02-13T13:58:00.001-08:00

we had an earthquake a few moments ago...which found me in just a tee-shirt and unmentionables, sitting at the computer...needless to say within 3 minutes, i am now fully dressed, shoes and all. hate when earthquakes catch me w/out clothes...

kirk laughs at me for ensuring i have jeans/shirt/bra/shoes within reach every night before going to bed...but just wait until we have a big one in the middle of the night, and THEN who'll be laughing while he's standing there in the doorframe wearing nothing but his boxers? huh? :)

at least i don't insist on sleeping with a bag of emergency supplies anymore...that phase pretty much ended when i woke up soaking wet after a gallon of water came open in the bag.

anyway, after watching images of haiti over the last few weeks, i am still heartbroken for that country and the aftermath of the tragic earthquake. it definitely makes me more aware of what i DON'T have in place should we have a big tumbler here.

anyway, on to something a little more positive...it is valentine's day weekend. i could not care less about the commercial side of valentine's day, but you know, any chance to celebrate being married to my best friend is cool by me. here's a photo of one of our early dates back in the day:
awww, weren't we so damn cute? kirk commented on this picture on facebook by saying how short his hair was back then. it's true. it's about 3x that long now. *sigh* i love me some long hair on a man. it's the 80's hairband infatuation...i've never gotten over it.

1991! that's 19 years ago...we had our first date on April 23, 1991...and have been best friends ever since. man, i love this guy. :)

wishing you all lots of love this valentine's...or happy chinese new year, lunar new year, happy mardi gras, happy president's day, happy birthday, or whatever else you might be celebrating this weekend.

like, for example, the fact that it's a beautiful sunny saturday of a 3 day weekend. except for earthquakes, it doesn't get much better than that.

visual journals 2010

2010-01-31T12:32:00.000-08:00

...this year, i'm keeping a few different art/visual journals...

1. A Year in the Life of an Art Journal - this is a lovely group started by Rachel, who is hosting (along with a few other creative genius types) bi-monthly prompts to get your mojo working...if you participate, by the end of the year you'll have 24 pages of art goodness to treasure. i highly recommend this group as there are participants from all over the world, from beginner to experienced visual journalers. there are discussions on their ning group about supplies, inspiration, how to get your materials to cooperate, the process of journaling, etc.

i have decided to do these prompts on some old recipe cards that i've had laying around for years...(you all know how much i love cooking, right?) and will be altering a recipe box i found in the michael's dollar bin to hold them all.

i do the artwork on the front, and then i journal about the prompt on the back. this is similar to what i did last year for the ABC's of Me prompts at the same site...only different sized cards.

here's a picture of last year's art journal box:

for some reason, i like NOT having these prompts in an actual bound journal. i find it more genuine just working on one piece without being tempted to look at other pages, to start fresh, etc. i also like that i can be pretty messy and not contaminate already finished pages (although i do love a big chunky, messy, well-loved art journal too.)

so far, there have been 2 prompts for 2010 in january...

PROMPT 1: what is holding you back/keeping you from art? i wrote about prompt #1 right HERE.

PROMPT 2: hope. here's the front side of prompt 2. journaling is on the back:

i like working with these small sized cards, and they can handle quite a bit of medium if i gesso them first.

2. Large Sketchbook Moleskine. i am keeping a larger book this year as well, just for my own ideas and thoughts as they come up. i like that this book is already bound with quality cardstock, i can be pretty rough with it and the pages don't curl up much, and it's a good quality journal to work in. i haven't taken any photos yet, and i might not...this journal is for me, and i have given myself permission to experiment, make terrible, ugly pages, and not share if i don't feel like sharing. this is my freedom journal.

3. Mini Sketchbook Moleskine. i got this mini version of the moleskine to keep with me when i'm out and about and the mood strikes to draw/doodle/vent/journal. i keep a small art journal kit in my purse with it. more on this in a later post where i will talk about what's in my mini-art journal portable kit & show you photos of the mini moleskine.

4. Remains of the Day Journal. this is an online class taught by Mary Ann Moss, who i must say is a delightful, charismatic and freeing instructor. Like me, she is not a seamstress, but she embraces it, and employs what she calls "guerilla sewing tactics" to make the most fabulous, dreamy, eclectic journals i have ever seen. so i'm jumping in. have new sewing machine, will sew papers! If you just google "remains of the day journal" you will find many others in blogland have undertaken this class with outstanding results! i am nervous, but i'm going to do this. i can sew, i can sew, i can sew. :)

5. Bookbinding. oh yes. i'm going to start doing this. i am. i am. and i don't even like green eggs and ham.

would love to hear what YOUR creative plans are this year!

i know my dad has recently resumed his love affair with ATC's. he's been sending them to me by the handful every week or so! i'm going to have to scan and make a slideshow of those, they are truly something to see. my dad would never admit it, but he is an artist. i love that we have this in common. next task: scanning dad's atc's to share with the world. well, the world that consists of the 9 or 10 of you who actually read this blog, that is. :)

until then, compadres, i'm off to get painty/inky. gotta take advantage of the weekend days as much as possible, because weekdays i'm in social worker mode and my muse is afraid of that heidi, so she usually hides from me starting on sunday evening through friday night. *sigh*

happy sunday!

got my mojo workin...

2010-01-24T13:47:00.000-08:00

...been feeling the creativity this weekend...
thank you cards for holiday gifts - done & ready to mail.
art journal pages done - 3!
new blog banner - done. (not my favorite so will likely change soon...)

and...i signed up to make one of these via Mary Ann Moss' class! hoping to start gathering papers & ephemera this afternoon. i am slightly nervous about the sewing - but what better way to break in the new sewing machine, right? if mine turns out even halfway as beautiful as the other gals' journals are - i'll be in pure heaven.

kirk and i even went out and got creative in public this weekend - yes, i took my little lovely moleskine and did a bit of drawing at coffee depot while kirk worked on writing a script for another contest entry he is involved in with a friend. it was good times...good times. i realized, however, that drawing is NOT like riding a bicycle, and i am extremely rusty. but it was energizing.

back is feeling much better today, guess it just needed to lay flat for a couple of days.

so here's to creativity...and hoping it sticks around for awhile...

rain, please stay...

2010-01-22T11:41:00.001-08:00

stuck at home with a sore back. as long as i'm stuck lying down flat, may as well have some good rainy-day songs to go along with my ibuprofen & coffee....

hatred paralyzes life...

2010-01-18T12:30:00.000-08:00

...love releases it." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

in honor of Martin Luther King, Jr. day, here are some quotes of his which I greatly admire:

"A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual doom."
- could this be any more poignant?

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."

"Have we not come to such an impasse in the modern world that we must love our enemies - or else? The chain reaction of evil - hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars - must be broken, or else we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation."

"I refuse to accept the view that mankind is so tragically bound to the starless midnight of racism and war that the bright daybreak of peace and brotherhood can never become a reality... I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word."

"It may be true that the law cannot make a man love me, but it can keep him from lynching me, and I think that's pretty important."

"Nonviolence means avoiding not only external physical violence but also internal violence of spirit. You not only refuse to shoot a man, but you refuse to hate him."

one of my favorites:

"Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity."

and of course, one of his most famous, from the "I Have a Dream" speech...

"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character."

well said, Mr. King....well said, and well done.

another year. another art journal!

2010-01-17T22:24:00.001-08:00

as if there was any question about whether I would participate in more art journal love via prompts at OneYearArtJournal...

starting this one with 3x5 cards made from recycled cardboard (cereal boxes, backs of notepads, thick magazine pages, whatever i see in the trash at work that shouldn't be trash yet) for the bases of the pages. thinking of altering a recipe box i found in the dollar bin at michael's to hold this year's cards...not 100% sure yet as i think i may want to experiment a bit with different size pages this year.

anyway, the first prompt is: WHAT is holding you back/keeping you from art? here's my page:on the front/base i journaled a bit about what keeps me from doing art on a regular basis...namely that i have difficulty disconnecting from my day job (foster care social work supervisor) which is very fast-paced, directive, solution-focused, LEFT-brained work...in order to get in a RIGHT-brained state of mind to work on art/creative projects. i threw in a few other excuses i often use, then i covered it with water-soluble wax pastels and some chalks...then added strips/layers of paper and goodies around the edges...and the little square on the corner.

on the back i journaled about making a determined decision to make art part of life, not something that i separate out like a "hobby." here's the back:

if you're looking for a great way to learn about art-journaling, there's loads of inspiration and ideas over at the blog/ning sites - come get your art on and join us!

no words

2010-01-15T21:38:00.000-08:00

what do you say at times like this? any post i can think of sounds trite and petty when i consider what the people in haiti are going through at this moment.

so, maybe instead of talking about the little bits of my life, i will link you to some organizations i trust and donate to regularly with no scam in sight.

i'm sure every last penny helps, can you consider a donation today?

The American Red Cross

Mercy Corps

Doctors Without Borders

my thoughts are with the people of haiti. :(

dear starbucks

2010-01-10T19:10:00.000-08:00

i'm sorry, but it's over. i've met someone else.

his name is keurig...and it's just that, well, he's low maintainance, comes right to my door with fair trade variety in eco-friendly packaging, and he can give me what i want, whenever i want it - day or night.

also, he's much easier on my wallet...

sigh it's not you, it's me.

p.s. thanks dad, we love this thing!

call me martha. ms stewart if you're nasty

2010-01-05T21:33:00.000-08:00

that's right, folks! i sewed something. on a SEWING machine! MY sewing machine! really!

why is this a big deal? well, let's start at the beginning, shall we?

way back in 8th grade, (oh what a horrible year that was) i wanted to take woodshop. i had done some woodwork at summer camp, and my dad used to let me whittle little pieces of balsa wood with him sometimes. i wanted to make spice racks and shelves. i did NOT want to take home economics. i had no interest in cooking (still don't) and had not the first clue about sewing. but i was told by a droll "counselor" that the woodshop class was full, and "besides, you're a girl, you should want to take home ec." (don't get me started...)

so? i took home ec.

and i burned things. and broke things. made mushy spaghetti and sour yogurt. caused a small fire in one of the ovens with my "partners." got yelled at frequently by the teacher, who had very low frustration tolerance. even for a jr. high school teacher. plus, she spit when she talked. (and she had yellow eyes...so help me god...yellow eyes!) ;) but i digress.

so, i couldn't cook. so what? that's what restaurants are for, right?

next came the sewing unit. now HERE was something i might get into, i thought. beautiful colored fabrics with all sorts of wonderful designs and textures. i was intrigued! our first project? pillows. "easy" pillows. ok, i could handle this. sounded fu , i'd make a cool throw pillow for my bed. so off i trotted to the local fabric store beside my best friend, lauri, and we lovingly chose our 2 favorite patterned fabrics - our excitement mounted to make our fancy pillows. (we were with lauri's mother. she told me i picked "cool" fabrics. i loved her.)

my teacher, who shall remain nameless because i'm nice, took one look at my fabrics (curled her lips over her green teeth) and told me the materials i picked didn't match - that i chose badly. that i chose the wrong type of fabric. she said colors that "clash" don't look good together and that my fabric was muslin and we were supposed to get linen. well, it would have helped to know the difference...and so what? i thought. i like these designs.

then we sat down at....the machines. the teacher reviewed threading the needle, quickly. i remember hearing something about bobbins and tension. stitch length was mentioned. there was a pedal and knobs, lots of knobs. she walked around, her spittle spraying in a fine mist over our heads as she elaborated on the running stitch, the presser foot, the spools and bobbin case, drifting down the rows of machines with her arms clasped behind her back...past all of the other girls happily stitching away.

i remember her standing behind me and just watching. watching while i fiddled and fumbled and fussed with the tiny thread...i was at least 89 steps behind the other girls. i don't recall the exact nuance of every word she said to me, but i remember a few things. i remember how she made me FEEL that day...and every day after that. inferior. stupid. as if something was wrong with me because i couldn't get the hang of this thing. pointing out my mistakes to the rest of the class. shaking her head and tsk-tsking through that gap in her teeth. answering my questions with rolled eyes and sighs.

(now as legend has it - this same ~~beeyotch~~ teacher once ended up the subject of a diary entry by yours truly in which i used the b-dash-dash-dash-dash word that led to a dramatic run-away attempt and a huge fight with my mother....but that's a story for another day.)

today, i can tell you this. i finished that darn pillow. and it was awful. seriously, it was horrible. it was crooked, lumpy, buckled, ugly, falling apart, and of course - mismatched. i hated it. i hated that class. i hated that teacher. and i thought i hated sewing. i kept the pillow, but i came close to failing home economics, and probably would have, had my mother not made me a pie to take in for extra credit. (thanks mom!)

i never touched a sewing machine (or took another semester of home ec) again. but i have always been drawn to the fabric section in craft stores...touching all of the materials...eyeing the designs. *sigh* but i can't sew. i almost failed home ec, for pete's sake! what girl fails home ec? i suck at sewing.

or so i thought.

until last december when my friend danielle (hi danielle!) and i got together to create our "december daily" scrapbook albums. when i showed up at her house i was surprised to see a sewing machine on her dining room table, and her mother there showing her how to use it. she showed me, too. and use it we did. on paper, mostly - we made pockets, we sewed through page protectors, we sewed vellum - we did it! (but i will admit to feeling a slight butterfly in my stomach when i first saw that machine. silly, huh?)

i was excited about this breakthrough, and kirk must have picked up on my enthusiasm, because he and his mom went in together and got me a sewing machine for christmas this year! i have to confess, i was shocked...and a little bit freaked out...when i opened that package. but i am not the girl i used to be. i'm a grown woman with 2 college degrees, for heaven's sake! i can do this, right? so, together with my mother-in-law, i got it out, we watched the video, i wound the bobbin and threaded the needle, and made my first seam. cinch!

and tonight, i made a little pillow. nothing fancy, nothing like the one i was supposed to make back in 1987...but a cute little eye pillow that i filled with lentils and herbs to relax the eyes after a long day. simple, cute, and I SEWED IT. it is not perfect. but it's done, it's use-able, it's mine. i made it.

if it seems like i'm making a mountain out of a molehill about that home ec disaster...you could be right. i was pretty dramatic in 8th grade...and getting chastised by a teacher is definitely not one of the worst things that can happen to a girl in junior high. but the point of my story is this:

as adults, whether we are parents, neighbors, aunties, babysitters, daycare providers, or teachers - we have tremendous influence over children. the kids i work with in foster care have taught me this in a huge way. we might not think they're watching, but they see what we do. we might not think they're listening, but they hear us.

so i would just like to encourage all of us grown-ups not to be those adults who impress upon kids a sense of smallness, fear, insecurity, or weakness. let's be the adults who encourage kids when they need a boost, empower them to try things they might not think they can do, inspire them to try new things, and help them to learn from their errors instead of chastising them for being human...so they can believe in themselves, try new things, make mistakes, and try again.

so take THIS, mrs. H from 8th grade! ;)

i CAN sew. thbbbtbbbpt! *sticking tongue out*

eat. my. shorts.

(okay - so i haven't matured emotionally past the age of 14, but i'm working on it.)

thanks to kirk and marti for the wonderful new toy, your votes of confidence are a truly memorable gift.

let's drink a cup of kindness yet

2010-01-03T01:26:00.000-08:00

for auld lang syne. aka: times gone by. here's to 2009...as of yesterday, times gone by.

and here's to 2010. a year with possibility, promise, potential. there's hope.

the songs i put on my playlist to the right aren't new songs, but i chose them because they embody some of what i'm challenging myself to do more of in 2010.

- to think in a brand new way - with vision...hoping to end a bit of stagnation that got a hold of me toward the end of the year.

- to be real - to say what i think more often, to stop & chat with people more, to share myself with the world more, to be authentic.

- to see the sunrays even when it's cloudy on a beautiful day

- and especially to appreciate this lyric: so you act, so you feel, so you are

i've set some other goals too...more on that topic later. for now, wishing you a happy new year filled with good things!

be merry

2009-12-25T19:48:00.000-08:00

wishing peace and love to all the world today. (riverside mission inn festival of lights)

random bullet list

2009-12-01T23:29:00.000-08:00

i think people who schedule to audit my office on dec 21 & 22 are somehow evil inside.
i think flannel pj bottoms make almost everything better.
i think caffe americanos are the best cuppa joe on the planet.
i think it's funny when people think they are "leaders" even when nobody's following.
i think december is the best month of the year...festive, hopeful, looking toward a shiny fresh new year.
i think space exploration is much more fascinating than the improbability of the paranormal
i think it's best to confront things honestly and directly without skirting around the bush, even if it's hard
i think holiday music is wonderful, unless it's the 287th time you've heard elton john yell at you to step into christmas in less than 2 weeks
i think everything should be covered in vintage dictionary pages with mod podge
i think it's difficult to prove that any country really, truly wins in a war
i think people are generally good, with a few quirks here and there.
i think scented candles are the bomb.
i think that when you've watched 11 farting cat videos in a row on youtube without knowing why you ever clicked on them in the first place, it's time for bed.
i think my husband makes beautiful music.
i think tim holtz makes beautiful art.

what do you think? :) i have no idea why i felt like listing these things, but i'm gonna roll with it.

happy tuesday.

black friday?

2009-11-27T15:59:00.000-08:00

somehow it seems it should be called freaky friday? if you're one of those crazy enough to venture out and fight the masses to grab some holiday bargains...i wish you the best of luck!

as for us, we're still recovering from the bountiful thanksgiving meal we had yesterday at my brother's house. having a brother with cheffin' experience is a good thing if you're as domestically challenged as i.

here's a little collage of the afternoon. turkey breast, green bean casserole, garlic mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, warm bread, stuffing, and LOTS of red wine. perfection. then we just zoned out on the couch and watched The Godfather marathon on cable until our bellies gave us permission to add coffee, pumpkin & apple pies to the collection. *sigh* happy, grateful times.

waiting for the ups man today - he's supposed to be bringing my blank but beautifully printed cd's so i can get started burning 100+ copies of "heidi's jingle bell jam!" we've got the cover art ready to print as well, might get started on that this evening, too. it's quite a process putting together a holiday cd each year, but it always makes a neat gift, and i really enjoy the process of doing most of it by hand. the playlist won't be graced by the ethereal voices of kirk and i this year, we just didn't have time to record a holiday song...but being the 10th anniversary edition, i'm pretty pleased with the songlist this year.

i'll be starting on some other holiday projects this weekend, too - trying for another year of primarily DIY or thrifted gifts...

no decorations this weekend, but will probably break those boxes out next week sometime. the holidays are upon us, once again, and i LOVE it.

tryptophan, and other things on my thankful list this year

2009-11-26T02:15:00.000-08:00

in no particular order, this is the short list of gratitude this year:

kirk's sense of humor
memories of a safe and playful childhood
flannel sheets
art supplies
vacations
the rolling stones
parents that love me & raised me with care
brother that's a chef and willing to make t-day dinner for us
patterned paper
books
being married to my best friend
friends to share hobbies and laughs with
peppermint mocha creamer
people dedicated to finding the truth
candles
comfy knitted socks
foster youth
generous donors to help foster youth
jeans
caffe americanos
ipod
freshly baked bread
rock and roll
hulu
health
sleeping in late

...NOT cooking Thanksgiving turkey, and a husband who loves me despite the fact that i'm domestically challenged and embrace that disability with warm and open arms.

I hope your list is even longer this thanksgiving day.

it's 90 degrees on nov 1

2009-11-01T14:10:00.000-08:00

...i suppose southern california never really wants to let go of summer. but - with the fall, the warm santa ana winds have blown all of the smoggy gook out of the skies and the inland empire is just beautiful this time of year! sometimes i forget there are hills and mountains around riverside, and it's this season that reminds me they're out there!

i'll admit, i'm a little jealous of the blizzard conditions my family are lamenting in CO and i long for a little bit of snow - but to be honest, we've still got blooming flowers and blue skies, and i'm okay with that! plus, no yucky piles of dirty snow will be left over in a few days.

not much going on the creative front - still finishing up my mysteries of me album, i'll share photos when it's complete. getting ready to start on my december daily project a'la ali edwards, and will be digging into the holiday music stash this afternoon to get started on heidi's jingle bell jam - the tenth, and possibly final, edition.

anyway - here are some of my photos from the last 30 days...i've been learning more and more about my camera and how to use editing software all the time! loving it!here's to a lovely november for you, too. :)

diane, I hold in my hand a small box of chocolate bunnies

2009-10-31T09:49:00.000-07:00

we don't do much for halloween these days...but i have the fondest of memories of going trick-or-treating as a kid in some great home-put-together costumes (many of those covered by winter coats) in freezing october halloween nights common to colorado. i remember going to a school dance on halloween in junior high dressed, along with my best friend, as a pair of dice. try dancing with a cute boy while wearing a box the size of a washer/dryer. yeah. bad idea.

tonight will find kirk and i welcoming mom (marti) for a visit with a cool jack-o-lantern, lots of candles, caramel apples, warm chex mix & pumpkin seeds (i'm going to try not to burn them) and some classic creepy movies the likes of young frankenstein and the 3rd man. should be fun!

hope you have something fun planned to help you get your spook on.
(did i just say, "get your spook on?" *sighs and shakes head*)

i leave you now with some scenes from my all-time favorite, and in my opinion the best in television history, creepy show...
(to turn off the spooky tunage...click the || button to the right --->)

David Lynch was just too cool for TV.

happy halloween everyone!

progress...

2009-10-21T23:24:00.001-07:00

is a good thing.

the photos to the left are my progress on the mysteries of me mini-album class mentioned in earlier posts. i really like how things are coming together. and guess what folks? i SEWED! yep - me, the girl who would have failed (not kidding) home economics if her mother had not baked her a pie for extra credit.

not only did i sew, by hand (me and sewing machines don't see eye to eye,) but i sewed 4 different stitches - and didn't have to start over once! i am normally not this thrilled with myself, really, it's just that i was going to take the easy way out and glue/staple these pockets together, but i just decided to try it. needle & thread, and guessing at various stitches. they aren't perfect, they don't look like they were done on a machine, some of the stitches are loose, but by golly, i'm proud of the darn things!

the cover (middle photo) for the mini-book turned out pretty too - i used some pattern paper to match the inside of the bigger book, a tag dyed with tea and blue liquid ink, and i SEWED on a scallop trim, and added the other embellishments as directed.

this is going to be a really cute project...that ms. kartchner has such a flair for cute!

inside the mini album are going to be stories, tickets, photos, thoughts, little journal entries about a variety of topics. having a great time, even if i do have to fit in the creative fun after 12 hour workdays and stay up until 3 a.m. dyeing tags and poking my poor fingertips with needles! :)

thanks for stopping by, and have a good one, everybody...

artsy craftsy goodness

2009-10-18T22:48:00.000-07:00

as promised, some of the creative stuff i've been working on lately:

first up, some birthday cards for the october babies in my life.

next, those coffee sleeve notebooks i was talking about...

aren't they cute? and...EASY! wouldn't that christmas-y one make an adorable little place to keep all of those holiday shopping lists this coming winter? tutorial on how to make these on the way, so stay tuned!

lastly, i mentioned in a previous post that i signed up to take a class taught by Liz Kartchner, called "mysteries of me." this weekend the first two lessons were posted on the class site, and i got started this afternoon. we are making little mini-books that will be kept in re-purposed vintage books. pretty sweet idea, huh?

so far, we've gutted the book and made it into a little box, decorated the front cover, and started to prepare some of the other items to begin the mini-album soon. i found a really neat old book of poetry by robert frost amongst some old books...the cover is super-distressed and a beautiful teal color.

while i hated taking a knife to a book of such classic proportions, the pages were in pretty bad shape and falling out of the binding, so...i chose to look at it as restorative surgery and re-cycling instead of torturing classic literature. :)

here's my progress so far:

i had to put some new paper on the inside cover as an end-paper as the original was tearing from the cover. i also added some gaffer tape to help strengthen the binding since it was tearing away from the pages.

i left some of the pages in the bottom, and cut using an exacto knife about 1 inch deep to make the "pocket" where the mini-album will fit.

used rub-ons, stamping, and some other goodies on the front cover.

i love it so far!

p.s. my sunday dreams noted below came true except i traded coffee for iced tea because for some reason southern california has decided to send autumn away for awhile longer and invited summer temps to come back...much to my dismay, i am so over this hot weather!

hope you all had a great weekend, too, and are gearing up for a productive and happy week.

ahhhhh, sunday....

2009-10-18T02:15:00.000-07:00

i'm going to do everything in my power to make sure my sunday is all about coffee, staying in my pj's, creative projects, hanging out with my love, and being as lazy as can be. how about you?

luckily i didn't party too hard last night so my sunday morning is a little brighter than johnny's...

fall favorites

2009-10-12T01:42:00.001-07:00

oak glen, ca.
pumpkins. apples. cider. squash. scarecrows. weather-beaten red buildings. cornfields. old wheelbarrows near autumn flowers.
life is good.

oh....hi there, october!

2009-10-09T10:44:00.001-07:00

can you believe it's october? this year is moving along like an energizer bunny on crack who's had a few too many shots of espresso! not that i'm complaining - i LOVE autumn: october, cooler weather (finally!), pumpkin spice lattes, breaking out the slipper socks and flannel sheets, spicy candles, and the beginning of the holidays...

so, in addition to cleaning out my craft room and getting rid of some items i just don't use (keep watching for more sales on ebay,) i've been digging in again and finding the creative spark that seemed to be buried this summer in work, heat, and lack of energy.

i found a cute way to recycle those starbucks coffee sleeves (it's all those pumpkin lattes i've been drinking - photo to come later), started collecting items for my next "december daily" album, and signed up for an online class called "the mysteries of me" taught by elizabeth kartchner, who is very talented and just too cute - looking forward to it!

outside the craft room has been positive too! Work at Walden has finally started to hit a manageable plateau after a crazy busy summer; i've developed some new time management habits that are really helping me get more done both at home and at work; kirk and i have decided to start practicing songs again in hopes of playing some local gigs; and i'll begin working on what may be the final year of "heidi's jingle bell jam" very soon!

i hope you're enjoying fall as much as i am so far! stay tuned for photos/videos of some of these projects and a few holiday giveaways as we head toward halloween...

p.s. does it get any better than nat king cole singing about autumn? no. no it does not. :)

go kim!

2009-10-07T18:00:00.000-07:00

below is one of my good friends since way back in college.

her name is kim, better known to me as kimus thomus, who is inspiring us all with her marathon training and her persistent striving to work through the loss of her father, who was her "daddy long legs." she is documenting her grief process HERE.

everyone faces loss. and while i know this could happen at any moment, i can't imagine losing any of my parents (now that i count kirk's parents as my own, too) or how much pain i would feel.

nor can i imagine actually running a marathon. but i CAN imagine how proud she's going to be when she crosses that finish line next week, and i know her family and friends will be just as proud.

we're all cheering for you, kim! rock that marathon, girl!

i'm cleaning the studio...

2009-10-06T12:24:00.001-07:00

...which means fun things for someone else!

If you are interested, the Ebay listing can be seen if you click HERE.

Happy Stamping and Good Luck to all who bid!

midnight snack

2009-09-27T16:12:00.000-07:00

about a month ago (yes i know it's been awhile - again - since i've updated this here blog...i blame facebook) kirk and i got the midnight munchies on a tuesday night...headed out to the usual drive-through ugliness, when a bright idea popped into my head: "let's go to canter's!" kirk: "canter's? are you serious?" "dead serious." big smiles of mischief at each other. "alright then, let's do it!"

why the excitement? well, for one thing, we're middle aged. we should be sleeping at midnight, not indulging in cravings for carbs in the wee hours. secondly, canter's is in l.a., about an hour and a half away from home. thirdly, i had to be at work at 8 the next morning. but, the thought of warm rye bagels and coffee won out over our better instincts, and off we drove into the night.

i couldn't resist some photos of l.a. w/out the crowds...

new look

2009-09-27T12:30:00.001-07:00

and new posts coming soon! :)

14 years

2009-08-10T23:54:00.000-07:00

he's the sugar to my cookie, the cheese to my macaroni, he puts the soul in soul mate, and the hot in hot stuff. he's my best friend, my confidante, my helper, my love, my own personal comic relief, my husband.

he asked me out for the first time on april 22, 1991...and asked me to marry him on february 17, 1995. we had the most beautiful wedding on august 11, 1995, and haven't looked back since.

we've had ups, downs, ins, outs, fun, loss, and everything in between. i wouldn't change a minute of our life together so far, and i look forward to what lies ahead.

i knew he was the one i wanted to spend every day with, but i never thought it would be this easy, this fun, or this good being married. this is not to say that we aren't without our fair share of arguments and roadblocks, but as the years progress, those have tended to be fewer. we've put a lot into learning about each other, respecting one another, and making love an action we choose every day...and we never go to bed angry.

kirk saves me every day with his humor and listening ear, has more faith in myself than i do sometimes, respects me for who i am, and encourages me to continue discovering and bettering myself. he treats me like an equal, values my opinion, believes in me.

what can i say? he's the best, and today, i celebrate US. happy anniversary, baby! i love you!

so...

2009-08-10T00:25:00.001-07:00

...it's been over a month since i've posted here at the ol' blog! yikes. well, i know i have a few faithful readers...but overall, i don't hear anybody complaining, right? ;)

so to catch up on the last month:

- i have become a full-fledged member of the nurse jackie fan club
- i have become a card carrying member of the true blood appreciation club
- i have worked 60-70 hours a week over the past month and a half (hence this whole not updating the blog thing)
- i have created a few projects, but have not taken photos. bad me! a cute scrapbook for a friend who's expecting, and starting on holiday gifts. yes - holidays will be here before you know it!
- kirk and i have rearranged our living room in lieu of moving, since i got word of a pay cut i'm lucky enough to receive in light of the CA budget crisis
- i learned i will be getting a 5% pay cut in the form of 1 furlough day a month since CA can't seem to get their finances in order.
- we've started 2 relatively large new systems at work. let's just say...my co-workers don't really respond well to change.
- i have booked a vacation for early september. yes! good news mixed in with the crap! :)
- kirk and i have started a nightly ritual of putting on our walking shoes and walking to starbucks and back versus driving - which gives us some much-appreciated time together, along with a bit of exercise, plus non-fat sugar-free iced vanilla lattes. how can we go wrong? ;)
- we've been to the dentist. all is well. it's the one helping professional i enjoy visiting, because i never get lectured and i always get told what beautiful teeth i have. (thanks for the braces way back when, mom and dad!)
- whew! well, that's not all, but that's enough for you, right? anybody out there? well, if you are, the dedicated and faithful few, look forward to some photos of recent projects and a few other lovely goodies in the next few weeks...including:

drum roll please....

BLOG CANDY! yes, everyone's favorite, blog candy will be coming to heidiology in the near future, so stick around and be rewarded for your patience with me!

hope you all are doing well...drop me a comment and let me know you're out there...and have a great week.

Scrappy Hour: Buttons to match

2009-07-04T12:00:00.000-07:00

here's the latest episode...enjoy!

Check out my other videos at www.youtube.com/hidilley

happy independence day

2009-07-04T01:12:00.001-07:00

houston...

2009-06-29T15:27:00.001-07:00

it appears we have a problem?

dad, you're the greatest...

2009-06-21T00:01:00.000-07:00

my dad calls me "kiddo" even though i'm 36 years old. he still sends me stocking stuffer toys at christmas. my dad makes me feel like a child at heart.

my dad makes sack lunches for the homeless people in his area. he would do just about anything he could for his "kids," even though we're all well beyond old enough to take care of ourselves. :) my dad dotes on little ones, gives freely, and puts thought into his gifts (no generic gift cards from this guy!) my dad inspires me to be generous too.

my dad worked his butt off for 30 years at coors while making sacrifices of himself to provide for the people he loves. he modeled a flawless work ethic for us. my dad taught me to do my best and work hard.

my dad is retired and making sure to enjoy every minute. my dad plays golf. he makes art. he reads. my dad travels, goes fishing, and takes drives in the mountains in his little sports car. he loves his pets, and he takes long naps in his hammock. my dad reminds me to make time to enjoy life.

my dad is proud of my work as a social worker. he is proud of my brother's job as a golf professional. he is proud of his girlfriend's children too. as different as i am from my brother, we are equally loved by our dad, and we know it. my dad inspires me to be non-judgmental.

i could go on, but suffice it to say my dad pretty much rocks. :)

here's a little video, i made a similar one last year, but it's all still true and valid, so i spruced it up a bit.

happy father's day to the coolest dad on the planet. i love you!

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com